As I picked up Steve tonight he asked how my day was and I gave him the run down.
I had lunch with my best friend of thirty years...(I know THIRTY; I am shocked too) where we talked family, kids and jobs. The usual things that friends talk about over lunch at Applebees. It was refreshing.
Then I made a business call to send of a project and get read for another meeting on Friday with this project. Then I told him about my meeting to teach some Squarespace to a fellow womanpenuer.
Then he said it; the one thing I NEVER say.
"It is all coming together..."
I immediately gripped the steering wheel of my car and look to the roof of the Fort Pitt Tunnels to start caving in.
"You don's say that! You never should say that! I am a Narcisi and there is always a bottom and I am usually on it. I mean the Lexus Club hasn't called like they said they would" Then my stomach turned and leaped and all of a sudden my Spinach salad was no longer my friend.
I always say when something goes well that it was an upswing or that today I hit a home run. But I never jinx myself into thinking that today's actions lead to a yellow brick road of wonderfulness. Which has me thinking:
When you blow everything up and decide to do it your way; run a business, get a divorce, sell a home, live life without a safety net do you give yourself a paranoia complex?
Where every move is so scary so second guess it and then expect the worst? I am not talking about fear about making decisions; but the paranoia that every decision will end up with you more broke, homeless, or just more stuck then you currently are. What if you already seen the bottom and tried a new route and said:
"Well I survived the bottom once and I am still alive so this couldn't hurt..." but then you did the jumping and gave it a shot and still expected failure. So the fear isn't fear, it is a paranoia.
This coming to me now as I have been going after more and more in business and life and said:
"I survived worse."