Out of Control 12/100

I know I dropped the ball on the 100 days of blood going. I want t make it a point to pick up where I left off. I download added the app for squarespace on my iPad so I should have some more flexibility to write. So here is why I fell so far for a goal:


I am out of control.  

i don't mean the 20-something again-girls-gone-wild out of control. But the exhausted and stressed not in control of my life scenarios. I knew it was coming. I took on to much. Two part time jobs, running a business and a relationship? No wonder I am in bed by 10. For two weeks now I have been living by my schedule book and fitting BOLD in when I can. Don't even ask if I have made a piece of art in months...the answer: no. Not painting, no upcycle art and now t even a sketch. Thank god I haven't had any freelance come down the line or I would be scared to see my new follower undo love for Red Bull. But why do this all to myself? Other then cash? Because I have no control. For a year now since I got fired and layed off I have felt this endless hamster wheel. Like I just keep runnng and hope that I get a prize. So far: no. I mean I had successes, but nothing that secured a future. Even a client that I thought would last all summer didn't pan out and that is ok. I can't sweat everything anymore. 

I can set goals and a list of things to do with the things I can control. I can control my performances at my jobs. I can give 150% to them and get raises and promotions. I can control the paths that BOLD takes. I can see where we can go and the opportunities we have to succeed. Hell, in some realms we have succeeded where other blogs haven't survived. 

This summer will bring lots. I have to hold on tight and take it one day at a time and ask for help. So here is to make money and live on caffeine and granola bars.